Developing the Habit of Happiness: My Chat with Rahul Sharma

Today, we’re talking with Rahul Sharma (https://www.habits4miracles.com/) .  Rahul is a talented author, organizational development expert, Certified Public Speaker, Facilitator, and Coach. With over two decades of experience in the business world, Rahul has dedicated his life to empowering individuals to excel and become successful leaders.

Clinton: So Rahul, I'm so excited you're here today. One of the things I typically do is try to summarise someone's career. And I think with you, that's especially challenging because it's so immense and so impressive. Can you spend a little bit of time kind of telling our audience you know, kind of how you got where you are today as really kind of a foremost expert on you know, mindset, happiness and habits?

Rahul: Sure, sure, thank you Clinton. So, it will start from the quotation that my father told me when I was probably in my kindergarten. It starts like, where there is a will, there is a way and this quotation he kept on talking anytime when we are having a conversation. And it just resonated with me. And that is what was in my mind and my heart. Rahul is a person who is always willing to, always willing to go above and beyond, I have been a performer throughout my life, whether it's my career, or it is at work. Of late, I have moved away from being a perfectionist to be just an individual. Nothing wrong in being a perfectionist, but I have, I feel that we should just be normal rather than just going away or going for perfectionist. I have a double Master's in management in human resources and organization development. And for the last 10 years, Clinton, I was working and currently working as the vice president for learning and development for a global firm, We're in 13 different countries, and I support their learning and development team.

Clinton: It's so impressive. So you know, in your mind, what motivates people?

Rahul: In my mind, so people are motivated when they are seeing progress happening towards themselves towards their family. When they do anything, if they are seeing a positive outcome. That is what I'm talking about predominantly, that's what motivates people on the other hand side, not every time when you're working, you will get positive results.

Clinton: So, and this is where mindset comes in, right? And I think this is where you know, your perspective is so helpful. Can you talk a little bit about your perspective on mindset, how, you know, you're not always getting positive reinforcement for the actions you're taking. And you know, what people should be doing versus what they typically do to have a positive mindset?

Rahul: So, instead of talking about what people should do or should not do, I will talk about my own self like, as you mentioned, that positivity is not something that is there 24/7 365. We are human beings, right. So there will be times where we may have some situations, which may allow us to think very differently. What has worked for me is preparing my mind. I have a choice to decide whether I want to be happy, or I want to be sad. That is a choice I have. So I have trained my mind. And it is hard, and still work is in progress, Clinton that I want to stay positive, I want to stay, I want to have positive thoughts. So if there are people around me like you know, whenever we go to with kids, there is a very ground rule, only positivity. Anyone who is getting mad because of the score or whatever game we are playing, they need to step out, they need to take a timeout. So thinking positivity, being surrounded with positive people will definitely help you in building your mindset very strong. And last but not the least, don't be afraid of taking action, take consistent action. Most of the time we feel that till we get the big result. We will continue, we don't celebrate the small wins, and we procrastinate when things do not happen. So my recommendation would be to take consistent action. Don't just focus on that big action. Take small consistent actions that will move you towards your goal.

Clinton: Right, data says that you should never set massive goals very far in advance. You should set small goals and the kind of build the ladder positivity ladder. Are there things that leaders of people within organizations can do to encourage and foster positive mindsets amongst their teams?

Rahul: Absolutely. And I will say, in corporate America, it is the leaders who would be able to make this happen. First and foremost, they need to lead by example, when they are talking to their team, they need to give positivity around the team, they need to have positive vibes. That is number one. Number two, is talking about their personal experience. And ensuring that your team is learning from your positivity, your personal experience, because every time we go through things, where we feel that things will go negative, we want to feel negative, everything is talking about being negative, but still, you have a choice, maybe for a fraction of a moment, you might get negative, but then you have a choice. So for leaders, what they can do is definitely lead by example, that is number one. Number two, whenever and whoever is exhibiting any positive attitude, positive approach, positive mindset, call them out, let the world know, let your rest of the team members know that this person is doing this so that they are more motivated to do that kind of activity.

Clinton: That's great advice. In your mind, does having a positive mindset lead to happiness? Or vice versa? What is happiness? Is it truly attainable, right? Or is it a constant kind of battle? What's your perspective there?

Rahul: So from my perspective, the first thing that you said is that a positive mindset will not lead to happiness. But there are certain things in between something I call it a circle of happiness. So positive mind talk, which is you're talking positively to your mind, you are basically giving those positive vibes to your mind to your brain, which in turns helps you in having positive thoughts. And those positive thoughts, Clinton, brings that positive action, positive mindset. Positive thoughts make a positive mindset, positive mindset makes you take positive action. When we take positive action is when we become happy, we become healthier, we feel the joy, we feel the happiness around us. So a positive mindset allows you to take positive action. Positive Action leads to positivity or happiness. That's what I feel.

Clinton: No, it's great. The positivity circle is so important. So thank you for that. You talk a lot about habits and how important establishing strong healthy habits are. Can you talk about some tactics to what works in building habits? I mean, there's been a lot of studies on this, you know, in your mind, what is an effective strategy for developing these habits that encourage happiness and positivity mindset.

Rahul: So, there is no one size fits all, Clinton. So there are so many articles as you know, so many people have written about how to inculcate habits. I would say first of all, we need to know our own self. Because what will work for you Clinton might not work for me. So you sharing your personal story may motivate me but the exact same thing I may not be able to do. So I need to know who am I? What are my strengths? What are my areas of improvement, and that's once I know myself, I will be able to take action in the right direction. So first thing for us is to know our own self. If I want to inculcate a habit, I need to know, know me, know my mindset, know myself. Very, very important. The second thing you earlier mentioned, set smaller goals. Don't set larger goals, don't set 10 goals. Set those goals that can be achieved. Set targets that are achievable. Don't just put up a target that is unachievable. Number three I would say is celebrate those small wins when you are getting success when you are moving yourself closer to your goals to your targets, celebrate those wins. Last but not the least I will say, Clinton, is check your inner circle, who are the people in your inner circle? Are they the ones who are making you accountable? Are they the ones who are giving positivity to you? Or they are the ones who are when they talk to you, they're spreading negativity. So check the people who are in your inner circle. Because unless and until you have right people around you, people who are able to support you, you will not be able to inculcate those good habits or positive habits, in my opinion.

Clinton: So it sounds like what you're saying is, you know, while your internal environment is important, your mindset, all those things, but what you surround yourself with the people that are around you, that their behavior, their emotions can have just a stronger, potentially even a stronger impact on your own state. Is that fair?

Rahul: Yes, yes.

Clinton: Interesting. And you know, as leaders, it's probably important for us to identify if we have people on our teams, who are creating a negative state for other people on the teams, right, we always talk about someone who's kind of poisoning the well. And so I think it's a really important point, you're making that like, listen, it's not just about coaching an individual, and you have another individual on the team, and just coaching them understand that they going to have an influence on each other. And you have to address those concerns as well. Otherwise, you know, the work that one individual is doing, might not have the effect that you would expect, because there's something coming in from the side that's really negatively impacting them that you're not aware of, or not stop that, correct?

Rahul: Absolutely correct. You're absolutely right.

Clinton: That's, that's wonderful. That's really, really good advice. Do you think that? You know, obviously, you've studied this a while and your focus is on this. But you mentioned earlier that it's a constant battle for you, is there you know, is that something you're always going to deal with, or is a sort of like a Buddha status, where you are just sort of, you know, you kind of reach, you know, the final step and you don't have to manage it aggressively manager mindset or happiness as aggressively as you do when you start out is? What are your thoughts there?

Rahul: I'm sure there is a possibility probably, if you talk to a monk, he will give you a different input. But the way I see for myself, it will be a way for me to improve on a continuous basis. If I see my last 5 years or 10 years professional journey, I have impacted positively on my own internal self, as well as external, I was a different individual. What do I mean by different individual was I was just very, very much on focus on goals, perfectionist, and it was a little challenging for me to get disappointed on things that has not happened my way or the things that has not happened the way we discuss. So I have overcome that. And that is the positivity I'm seeing in myself. So probably next 5 to 10 years. Clinton, probably things might change, but it will be a constant effort. Because as I said earlier, it's a choice that I made. So I will have to make the choice to not panic in those difficult situation. I need to make the choice to remain silent. I need to make a choice to be happy. So it will be there for some time at least. But yes, it is achievable. Probably if I talk to Jay Shetty, or maybe some few other monks, they might give a different advice.

Clinton: Exactly. Yeah, that's great. Rahul, this has been incredibly insightful. Obviously, we'll put that on our site to our listeners to go learn more about you, about your upcoming book really very excited about all that. But thank you again, I do sincerely appreciate you coming on and talking to us about you know, mindset happiness and the power of establishing strong habits. It means the world to me, thank you so much.

Rahul: Thank you, Clinton. Thank you for having me.